“The more people speak out, the easier it will be to come out” – Loreto Alvarado on queer representation

How old were you when you had your coming-out and what did you experience?

I came out as a lesbian woman when I was 26, right after I ended my first relationship with a woman. I knew from a young age that I was attracted to women and kept it a secret for many years. I even tried to date men just to be safe and not deviate from the norm. I am very cisgender* presenting and have long hair, wear makeup and look feminine, I know, that I am in a privileged situation and do not face as much real dangers like some more masculine presenting lesbian women. Unfortunately, we had some cases of severe hate crimes against queer women in my city – so it is not only something you read on the news, but something that happens right where you live and that makes it even scarier. Overall, my coming-out felt good because I did not have to hide my identity anymore. At first, I did not really know how to tell my friends and parents, but when I finally did, it was a quite funny situation. When I came out to my mum, she was very surprised because she was not expecting it. She said things like “But you played with Barbies as a child” and I was like “Yes mom, but have you noticed I never asked for a Ken?”. Still, they were all very understanding and supportive, and I am very lucky to have experienced it in such a positive way because I know not every queer person gets to experience that. And now it is just normal. That is really freeing because for many years of my life I did not feel normal and I thought I had to give in to society's expectations and never be with a person I really loved. And now my girlfriend, the person I truly love, is part of my family, my circle, and has even come to some work functions. 

Lack of representation ultimately comes from too few people feeling safe enough to express their authentic selves in public. What do you think society can do to make it easier for queer people and provide that safety? 
 
For example, I would like to see institutions be more open in their condemnation of hate crimes. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of them lately, and they have been highly publicized. There is still a lot of stigma and shame involved, which leads to many queer people not reporting crimes at all. That would be the base for people to feel safer. Additionally, as a society, we must push queer representation instead of sticking to the heterosexual agenda. There are amazing queer role models like Gabriela Mistral. She was the first Latin American writer and the first woman of the Ibero-American world, who received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1945. In fact, she has been part of our daily lives for decades, being the face of our 5,000 pesos bill. However, a central part of her life, her sexuality and identity of being a lesbian woman, has been tried to be kept as a secret for a long time. And now I am always like: Check it out, there is a lesbian on the bills that you are paying with every day! There is a public discussion going on right now about being open about her sexuality instead of hiding it as a sign of representation on a governmental level, because it is also common and accepted to talk about spouses and love interests of heterosexual personalities. I feel like that would be helpful and important for young queer people and in general. The more people speak out, the easier it will be to come out. 
 
Beautifully said. Our last question fits this perfectly: What message or advice would you give to your younger self? 
 
Firstly, always make sure that you are safe. Once you are safe, you will find out that most of the people are going to accept you. Coming out is not going to be the end of the world. The right people will love you for who you are. And for the rest: People are going to criticize you anyway, so just be whatever you want to be. Also, I would like to add: It is important for us in the LGBTQ community to take really good care of our trans and non-binary people, because essentially, they were the ones who got us our rights. Therefore, we should always be thankful and protect each other – as they are the ones in the most vulnerable position. 
 
Thank you, Loreto. You are truly reminding us that being visible, authentic and supportive can change lives. 
 
Thank you. It has been a pleasure to share my story. 

*Cisgender refers to a person whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth—for example, someone who is assigned female at birth and identifies as a woman. It is often used to distinguish such individuals from transgender people, whose gender identity does not align with their assigned sex.